What could a girl gain by speaking up and speaking out? Ever since she could remember she couldn't say a thing. She feared being judged, she feared other's opinions, her truth was a silent one.
How could she formulate the perfect response, or the perfect words to say? It was never easy, anything she said had an after thought. There was times she regretted her silence.
If only she could take back her power, she felt helpless. She was lost and confused about what it all meant. She blamed herself.
Her voice was the only thing she was missing but how could she find it? Nobody would listen, she had no real listening ears, just people that wanted to use her. She had been used her whole life, tossed to the side when she was done as if she was an object.
Her precious life force was removed at a young age, she didn't know what to make of this world. Things only made sense when she was alone, when she was in silence. She was always so in her mind, too big of an imagination for this world.
Her dream was to be heard, but how could she make them listen?
She grabbed a pen and paper and wrote her story, passed it around to those she trusted but they did nothing but laugh. Her words were a joke, just like her story so she thought. She spent that day in her room, upset and full of agony. Her mother never noticed, she had her own battles she was facing.
Her room was all white, no pictures, no decor. Just a blank canvas reflecting how she felt inside. The silent girl, lost in her thoughts, mesmerized by those around her with voices. Kids her age were outspoken and witty.
She seemed so frail, broken, and it seemed as if she was the only one without a backbone. She had let several individuals walk all over her.
The older she got, the harder it got. She tried her hardest to try and fit in, said and did things to stand out but that's not who she was. She didn't even know her place in this world, poor baby had no idea what was yet to come.
The more lost she got, the harder it was to say how she truly felt. She went her time in school pleasing others and nodding and waving as if everything was okay.
She avoided confrontation, she didn't bother making friends considering those she associated herself with weren't true friends to begin with. She allowed people to make fun of her, the clothes she wore, the way her hair looked on a bad day, the way she spoke. The silent girl continued to let others silence her.
There was nothing but reoccurring events that allowed her to speak her truth, but she didn't know where to start. She had become numb to all of the horrific acts she faced. Her heart was crushed and it seemed as though her life was stripped away from her.
She tried to run and tell someone, but those same people didn't want to hear what she had to say. A gray cloud over her head, nothing but rainy days. She'd rather be in a place pretending because she was afraid of being alone.
She began to hate who she was, she asked God why on many occasions. There was times where she was just an inch from giving up. Her silence felt safe but it was eating her up so much that she didn't want to breathe anymore.
She'd leave marks on her body to remember.
She was numb to pain, sitting in dark rooms trying to forget.
The silent girl was going to find her voice, finally opening her mouth when it was necessary. Her tongue was her new found weapon, she didn't realize how much power she had when she spoke.
Those same words she was scared to say, saved her.