Numb.

Emotions run so deep, eye can hardly sleep, eye can hardly speak, eye can hardly eat

Emotions run so deep sometimes eye don't know who eye am


Apart of me wants to release and on the other side eye want control


Eye saw myself as weak, submissive, and vulnerable


Nobody truly knows the pain eye have endured

Eye feel it's always my mission to keep it real but when will eye start being real with myself. Eye was delusional to think eye could be happy as somebody else


Eye am not weak, eye am not pathetic, but eye am numb


Sometimes eye don't even know where the pain comes from


So much running through my veins and eye just want to give up


And how do eye know when eye have had enough


It's been rough and eye felt stuck on many occasions


It hurts when you don't know where your brain is

Tossing and turning my soul is burning it's uncomfortable


Time and time again


That hurt caves in


And eye fall down to the darkest parts of myself


Eye call for help


But nobody is listening


But why should eye care though


It shouldn't matter to me right


No matter how many times eye have to fight


Or say that eye am wrong or right


Eye just want someone to hear me out

Is that too much to ask


Am eye too stuck on the past


How do eye get through to you


Your head is in the clouds


While mine is underground


It's hard to be heard when your words are muffled


And opening up used to get me in trouble


No, don't say this


Don't say that


But all eye ever wanted was eye got your back


My whole life people have doubted me


Laughed at me


Judged me


Tried to play it cool


But it's fine


Mama didn't raise no fool


Sometimes eye feel like it though


Trying to find myself but will eye ever even know


They say to let your soul glow


Eye have been dimming my light


They say turn it down, your aura is too bright


When do eye get my turn


When will eye be heard


Is my time now


Or is it years from now


Will eye ever know


Eye would hope so


It's frustrating when all you hear is no


But they expect me to say yes


Remove my dress when eye am not ready


Tell me eye am being petty


Left scarred and abused


Leaving such a young girl confused


Eye didn't deserve that


Sometimes eye feel like a burden


To those around me


Eye have been cut one too many times


By myself, by others that lie


But eye could never let you take advantage of me again


Your eyes are full of nothing but sin


You hurt me and have no remorse for it


Telling me things to make me feel important


But eye was nothing to you


Eye was nothing to remember


But every time eye hear your name my body shivers


After you many others had intentions on hurting me


And eye let them because eye felt that eye was nothing


Eye sat there and let them hurt me


You made abuse seem so bitter sweet


But you were only lying through your teeth


You laid me down and whispered sweet nothings to me


Behind my back you said eye was nothing


Which is it


And what do eye believe


You costed me my life, my baby, and my sanity


Eye want the old me back


But she's no longer here


She reminded me it was okay to shed a tear


And now eye hold it all in


Bottled emotions


A dangerous potion


A weapon of mass destruction


And you made me this way


But are you the only one to blame


Maybe, maybe not


It's okay because karma comes back around


Like a boomerang


Bringing excess pain


Hopefully you get to feel the things that eye felt

And never have to worry about taking your feelings off the shelf


Eye opened up to you like a book


You ripped the pages out


Guess that's what eye get for opening my mouth


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